I Blog Again

Hi All,


Have finally managed to get rid of my lethargy & enertia to start blogging again.

Delhi has experienced perhaps the hottest and driest summer in living memory. After the smart showers which caused flooding and traffic snarls last week, there has been no rain, though dark clouds have been gathering intermittently. The notoriously incorrect Met ofice daily predictions of rains and thunderstorms have ben proved wrong for almost one whole week.But the overall monsoon scenario has improved with the south, west and the east getting copius rains. The north inluding Delhi and its neighbouring states of Punjab, Haryana,and westerm UP being very deficit. Let us pray to Lord Indra to bring us more rains and soon.

My extended tenure of three years with the Govt.ended on July 10. Do I find myself at a loose end after 40 yers of hectic work scedule? No.Now I can now plan my day ahead, spend more time with family and friends> No grappling with files, and meetings. Both processes of the Govt.with no beginning or end which seem to last forever! Thank God, I don't have to face either again.

The mango season has been mixed.There were just a few good Dussehris and Langras and now the juicy and sweet Chausas, my favourite, have made their appearance, reminding us that the season of the King of Fruits will soon be over.

How can the Desi Maali's blog be complete without gardening.This is perhaps the leanest season in Delhi for growing flowers and vegetables.Only the muticolored Portulacas which open in the mornings and close in the afternoons, yellow Gillardias,Balsoms ( an apology for the more handsome original Impatience) the purple but dry Gomphrenias, the crimson Amaranthus and bright red Cockscomb can be seen in home gardens.The Sweet Potato Wine os Shakarkandi Bel,is an excellent lush green ground cover which I have used in my home garden. And, of course, the mauve, pink and white blooms of Crepe Myrtles or "Saawanis"( Lagaestromia Indica) on bushes adorn the parks and roud abouts of Lutyens Delhi. The Delhi Gymkhana boasts of a very large variety of these.

I am adding a few pictures of the monsoon blooms in my home garden taken this morning for your viewing pleasure.

But this is the time to start sowing your Chryanthemums by planting cuttings or by root separation from plants saved from the last season. They will herald the long winter annuals season in Delhi, beginning November.

Happy " Rakshabandhan" which falls on August 5 . Unfortunately, tying of Rakhees by sisters in our family is taboo. But the good old Pandit used to come along and do the honours on the day, also carrying away the return gifts meant for the sisters in his Jhola!!

Love you all

Desi Maali

Winter Vanishes- Spring Bids Adieu- Summer is Almost Here

Hello All,

The four day sojourn in Goa last weekend was a relaxed affair.Lots of Goan cuisine, mainly fresh catch from the sea, sleep, and generally " Sushegaad" (leisurely- a Portuguese word) which describes Goa's ambiance. The annual "Carnival" pageantry in Panjim added colour.A gentle 7 hr cruise on a " Catamaran' well stacked with food and drinks was another high point of the holiday.

There is truly no other place in India like Goa with breathtakingly beautiful vast stretches of golden( Salcete) and silver ( Bardez)sans beaches south to north. Over the years, these have been dotted with shacks serving possibly the best in Goan and Continental cuisine mainly to cater to the hoards of tourists hanging out to catch the sun, surf and laze under the shades. The amazing variety of dishes are very pocket friendly, even by Indian standards.What is more intriguing is that none of them seem to have the well equipped kitchens and cellars/ pantries as back up.But you order your drinks and in about 30 mins the mouth watering dishes start being served.

It is not the same Goa where we had spent three of our happiest years, over thirty years ago, when there were no 5 Star hotels- just two 3 Stars- one in Panjim ( Mandovi) and another in Vasco ( Lapaz)and just one North Indian restaurant in Panjim( Good Food / Shere Punjab).But happily, the quintessential Goan spirit remains in tact.

"Basant Ritu" or Indian spring marked by strong winds, and strangely,leaves falling off from evergreen trees like Neem greeted us on our return to Delhi.During school,this was referred to by us as the "Exams Warning Winds" reminding the less serious students like me to get focused on the books as exams were knocking on the doors.Simultaneously, the winter woollens were being washed and dried to be be kept in steel trunks for eight long months with dried Neem leaves to act as insecticides, till Diwali.Preparations began for making the traditional Holi sweets and savouries like, Gujiyas, Papads, Samosas, which were a treat for the kids.We would eagerly await Maa's permission to start devouring them no sooner these were out of the Kadhai ( deep frying pans).i would specially devour the "Keema Samosas" with home made coriander Chutney. What a contrast from the spring season in the western hemisphere which is a long awaited event after the long and harsh winter.

In the years gone by, Holi was celebrated with gay abandon when young and old, rich and poor all hugged each other , smeared Gulal and sprinked Coloured water among neighbours . Our mixed Christian and Muslim neighbourhood in Meerut also joined in. The festival has lost much of it's charm now and degenerated into excessive drinking of "Bhang" ( a drink made of Milk, almond paste, rose petals, ground with Cannabis India leaves) and alcohol and hooliganism on the roads, giving a tough time to the local police. I recall that during my ASP days in Gauhati before the day was over, the city Police Station lock ups were full with inebriated revellers creating nuisance at public places.

The winter annuals in the Delhi parks, round- abouts and home gardens are are at their peak. But as the temperatures continue to mount,and the sun becomes stronger by the day, the blooms have started wilting. Today, I went and bought packets of seeds for the summer variety of flowers- Kochia, Portulacas, Zinnias, Gomphrenias, Gillardia, Amaranthus and Cosmos. Have sown them in mixture of Soil Light, sand and manure in seed pans. Will await the seedlings to come up before planting them in beds cleared of the wither annuals.Carrying a few pictures of the wither annual blooms in pots and beds in my home garden.

Let me see how many of my blog readers are able to guess the correct names of the varieties. Pl give it try and I shall reward the one who knows all the names correctly.

That's it for now till my next blog.

Happy Holi to all.

Desi Maali

I am Back at Last

Hi Folks,

It's been really long since I posted a blog. First, we were overtaken by the visit of our kids in December- Jan, which was lovely. Then the pace at work picked up . A few among my Blog readers( they aren't many) reminded me over email and phone. So here I am again. And it does feel good.

I think Delhi has witnessed one of the mildest winters, which followed one of the wettest summers in many, many years . The way it started warming towards end January, it seemed that the cold weather had disappeared altogether.However, following a brief rainy and cloudy spell early Feb,the nip in the air has thankfully returned. It won't last very long though, as all Delhiites know.

The winter annuals have begun to bloom. The Chrysanthemum's ( called Mums in the US)having bid adieu, the Calendulas, Dahlias, Marigolds, Pansies, Nustrutiums, Cinenarias, Stocks, Primulas have begun spreading their cheer with their glorious variety of colors and hues. I have named only the varieties that are in bloom in my home garden, though I am sure many more are adorning other gardens. A lot depends on how early or late in autumnn these are planted. Carrying a few sample pictures of these from my own garden for your viewing pleasure.

It is also the peak time in Delhi for hosting garden lunches, bar- be -cues . As the days become warmer, the lunches shall give way to outdoor dinners, while the evening cool breeze lasts, leading inevitably to only dinners indoors in AC comfort starting April.

The Wedding Season, which continues to follow the Hindu calender for auspcious months/ dates/times ,and periods when weddings just can not take place, has also descended. It me amazes me how, despite rapid westernization and modernization of the affluent and middle classes in India, we are clinging to such beliefs! Is it the centuries-old shackle-hold of Pandits over Hindu society, or superstitions, or do cosmic conditions really impact life? It certainly impacts plant and animal life .So why not humans?

As to auspicious times and dates for weddings, I was informed today by a dear friend that his wife is unrelenting to change the " auspicipus" timing for their son's wedding from 3 AM in end April! Feel sorry for the young couple, though, while admiring their regard for traditions and parents.

Saw
"Billoo Barber" today. I give it just 2 stars out of 5. No story , poor music and direction and make it a movie very well worth passing by. It left me with an impression that SRK and his wife have put it together to try to boost his stardom, which they know is not going to last very long.

While on movies, how can I end without my comments on " Slum Dog Millionaire" which has been released in India after a cosiderable gap after the US, and possibly the rest of the western world, where it took audiences by storm. This is not surprising, since I feel (after having read " Q & A" on which it is based and watched the movie) that it caters mainly to western audiences. Ok here is my own take on the movie, which every one believes will bag a number of Oscars soon:-

• The book is better than the movie.
• The movie focusses entirely on our country's underbelly- forced begging accompanied by blindings, prostitution and other forms of child abuse, slums, and criminal sub culture.
• Not that it does not exist, like in other parts of the world.
• But it totally ignores the positives in Indian society like the fellow citizens willingness to help out others .
• This may be fascinating stuff for the developed world, but not for those of us who have seen it from closer quarters.
• Even Rehman's music in this movie ,which has recieved much media hype, is uninspiring. And quite frankly, a rehash of his earlier scores for a number of Indian movies.
• ARR is capable of much better.

I would like to end by thanking the Almighty for having given me more than my rightful share of happiness and well being.For the lovely family that I have.
And wishing all those who believe, not only in becoming richer, but also better human beings, the best in ther lives.

Desi Maali

Pitajee- My Father : Discipline, Sports and Refinements

As I grow old, I miss Pitajee my father, more and more

Let's take a walk down my memory lane starting with the earliest, with the man, who possibly had the max impact on my life.

Born on Ist December, 1910 into a well -to- do Civil Services and Zamindar family of central UP comprising three brothers and two sisters. He was named Ch. Pratap Bahadur, but affectionately called 'Rajjan' at home.There was a difference of more than 10 years between him and my Tau( his older brother), but less than 2 years between him and Chacha ( his younger brother). His relationship with Tau was marked more by reverence and respect, and with Chacha with affection and friendship.The three Chowdhry brothers lost their sisters, who were both, according to Bhabbi my grandmother rare beauties ( no photos of them in the family album though), failrly early, soon after their marriages, in a dreadful Plague epidemic.

Pitajee often recalled how he and "Kunwar" ( Chacha) were taught by a Maulvi Sahib who stayed with the family ( with seperate arrangements for his messing ofcourse) during their childhood. The Maulvi apart from teaching them calligraphy and Persian language, also related tales of wise and brave men.Maulvi Sahib was a great man and their good friend, philosopher and guide. Incidentally, Pitajee learnt to read and write the Devnagri script only after entering service. Before that it was only Urdu and English, and Babba could not write or read Hindi till he died at the age of 90!!

Pitajee was a born sportsman - excelling in Horse Riding, Shooting, Hockey and Boxing. One heard tales of his acute rivalry over riding with Chacha when they were both being brought up and taught the family sport by Babba ( grandfather who finds mention in my earlier blog), himself a keen rider whose prowess and stamina on the horse back, was phenomenal.Pitajee told us that as a 'Shaandaar' Tehsildar,( head of a segment of the revenue district in British india), Babba would set out on his inspections- riding miles and miles, changing horses from post to post ( since the animals tired out but not the rider). These 'Muffussil Dauras'( rural) inspections must have been great fun- with tents being pitched near a river or canal, complete with the kitchen, cooks, bearers, cows for fresh milk, bonfires in the evenings, and possibly Shikars early mornings. Babba's young sons often accompanied him on such inspections when they were on vaction from their schools and colleges. I have an old picture of one such camp site which vividly displays such camps, which I can't lay my hands on, but shall try to upload with a future blog.

Bhabbi would often recalled how Rajjan and Kunwar( Chacha)who were the best of friends at most times, were at loggerheads over the their choice of horses to ride( quite often the same animal in their father's stables), and over pieces of meat with the biggest "Haddi" in the mutton curry cooked by the phenomenal family Chef, Ramdin Maharaj, while sharing the "Thali" at meal times.I too had the good fortune os savouring Ramdin Maharaj's mouth- watering Mutton Kormah, when we visted Faridpur our native "Kasba" not village( as Bhabbi emphatically described it).What never struck me as curious then, but does now, is how Ramdin Maharaj, a Brahmin made the non veg fare for the Chowdhry household, which he served for his entire life time!

Both Chacha and Pitajee considered themselves to be superior to the other in horse riding skills. Alas, I never got the chance to see them together on the horse back! Pitajee was also the star performer in the local hockey tournments in Jhansi, where he spent the better part of his younger days. Bhabbi would recall with glee how her Rajjan would be often brought home on his team mates shoulders, after having scored a crucial goal. Pitajee had the priviledge to Captain the local team in Jhansi in which KD Singh Babu the brother of the Indian Hockey Legend Dhyan Chand also played. In Pitajee's view, Babu was a greater player of the game than Dhyan Chand.

I took to riding like a fish to water while training in NPA in Mt Abu but nevr got the chance to play the game of hockey that seriously.

In moments of relaxation , Pitajee would fondly recall his happy Hockey days in Jhansi and the delicious " Doodh Jalebi"in "Kulhars" treats from the local Halwai shop as the instant energisers at half time, during the gruelling 1 hour games in the evenings. I think Pitajee studied in Jhansi till High School and then moved on to Allahabad, the Mecca of higher education for the affluent sections of UP society- first to the Kayastha Pathshala( also called KP College), and then to the Hindu Boarding House House of the Allahabad University, which was considered the best in a 'macho'sort of way, than the more famous Muir ( later called the Amara Natha Jha Hostel), where only 'sissies' studied and lived.Pitajee strongly felt that while Muir produced only book-worms, Hindu has produced some of the finest all rounders from the prestigeous Alld Univ. BTW,yours truly also got affiliated to the 'Sissies' Amranatha Jha Hostel for my MA degree, to which Pitajee never objected( I am a third generation product of the Alld. Univ).

A bit surprising that that none of Babba's sons took to Cricket in which he had excelled. He played against visiting teams from England ( precurser to the Test Matches). Pitajee told us that " Laalajee", as he called his father, had hit the highest Sixer on the Muir Central College Cricket grounds. The ball had reached the top storey of the Muir Tower which stands to this day as the central edifice of the Science Faculty of Allahabad University and also adorns the university emblem.Babba was also reputed to be an outstanding fielder.


More on Pitajee's sportsmanship. He is supposed to have K.Od a Negro Boxer in the Alld. University inter- unit Boxing Tournment. I still possess the Bronze medal he won for that.Continuing the family tradition, I won the Alld University Silver Medal at he same tournment while in my MA final in 1967. Earlier, I had invariably won my weight in Boxing tourments in which I participated in School. Pitajee always came to watch the finals. I remember his coming to my Corner of the Ring, after the first Round (in which I was trailing in keeping with my Coach's startegy to preserve my energies to go for the kill in the third and final Round). "Anil,go for it now - Don't wait for the third round", he whispered to me.I took Pitajee's advice and hammered away! My heart jumped with joy when the blue light went up after the judges verdict came in and the referee raised my hand to signal that " Blue" was the winner. Pitajee took my friend Ruby Kohli, whom I had vanquished and I for an Ice-cream treat after the tournment. I was then in Class VII.

Discipline was the next strongest trait of Pitajee. He was physically tough and strong . Not tall- about 5 ft 6/2 in.As kids, by brother and I particularly admired his calf muscles. Vigorous riding and hockey perhaps had a lot to do with it. He was adjudged the best Sergeant in an inter unit UTC competition in the Univ. So impressesd was the British Army officer who had come to judge their performance in parade and drill that he suggested 'Sandhust' to him as a career option. Babba was fine with it, but Bhabbi turned it down.

So Pitajee was content to carry on with the Law Degree from Alld. University.He didn't make it to the State Judicial Service exam ( Munsifi as it was then called). This he did to emulate his elder brother who was held in great amiration by the entire family. But Pitajee was not Tau, a very studious and serious minded person. Pitajee was all for sports and finer things in life like music, painting and gardening which must have left little time for books, I guess. But he had a sharp and logical mind and soon established a good legal practice in Moradabad (I think ),as a junior lawyer under a successful Advocate, Tau's friend.But Bhabbi who was a powerful influence in the lives of her dutiful sons, persuaded him to give up practice, because it was an 'unethical' profession- Lawyers she said had often to lie in courts! This decision Pitajee sometimes regretted later in his life when he found that some of his less gifted colleagues and friends had built up roaring practices. Pitajee married Sushila, my mother, the daughter of Dr Sidh Gopal Gurha, Civil Surgeon, Bareilly, when he was doing his LLB and was 21 years old. Maa was 16!

My memories of my father are surrounded by the fragrances of " Ittars", especially Mogra, his favourite which he loved to wear, "Baba 120" Zafrani Patti which he ate with the "Desi Desawali" Paans, always made at home( never from a Paan shop), well starched and ironed clothes, and shining shoes.His 'Gutka' Ramayan, which he read and the Diary, which he wrote every day were the other hallmarks of Pitajee.He was a stickler for time and punctuality- forever looking at his watch.Extremely gregarious, who loved the company of friends and neighbours. He had a passion for gardening( which I have inherited) and music, especially Indian classical.Post retirement, he never missed his morning walks with his friends, pre and post lunch short naps and dinner at sharp 9 PM alongwith the Enlish news over AIR on his transistor radio which he carried to the dining table.

Although he held important postions in the UP revenue administration, he never acquired any landed property, but chose to live in a rented bungalow in Alld. till the end of his life. In the Deptt which he finally headed ( Registration), known to be traditionally very corrupt, he was known for his impecable honesty, impartiality and accessibilty.

One day on his return from tour to Lucknow the state capital, he told us that he shall not be going to office the next day, and that he had sought voluntary retirement beacuse the CM wanted him to do something which his conscience did not allow. We were all shocked because he was just 57 years old and had another year of service left. But knowing how resolute he was in such matters, we did not argue with him. This should be seen in the backdrop of the current propensity of bureaucrats to cling to the chairs, especially after reaching the top of the ladder. But the likes of my father who were made out of a different alloy are raely to be found in the Indian bureacracy now!

I am adding five scanned photos with this blog from the family album- two of Maa and Pitajee after their wedding, and one which was taken after his graduation. The photo of an older Pitajee was taken when he took over as Inspector General of Registration UP. I am also adding a picture of our handsome and debonaire Chacha, Pitajee's younger brother and good friend. Chacha had joined the Royal Indian Airforce as a fighter pilot during World War II, but left as a young Flt. Lt., when he was medically grounded on account of a defect in his vision.

That's all for this blog.

Would love to see some comments on this one.

Love and good luck to all


Desi Maali

Janmashtmi

Today is Janmashtmi - the birth day of Lord Krishna one of the most popular incarnations of God Vishnu, particularly in the North, Bengal and Orissa. Krishna's following has grown world-wide, thanks to ISCON. Unlike other Gods in the Hindu pantheon, Krishna's folklore is marked by romance,youthful pranks, music and dancing. Krishna's discourse to Arjun on the Mahabharat battle field is immortalised in the "Shrimad Bhagwat Gita"- the most powerful treatise on Hindu Dharma and philosophy.

Here are titbits of my childhood memories of Janmashtami- the pains we took over decorating the "Jhankis" depicting scenes of Lord Krishna's birth, with lots of foliage and flowers. The effect of reflecting water pools was created by using mirrors. Then there were the "Katri" sweets- basically dry fruits set in sugar, as exotic and varied as "Kharbooza"( Melon) seeds and natural gum ( "Gond"), "Post"( poppy seeds). The "Chiraunji" and Gola( dry coconut)Katris were my favourite. Every one kept " Vrat" ( fast), which meant you could eat to your hearts content but without " Anna" ( cereal) and salt.As as many sweets, as much milk or its products, fruits, vegetables . Therefore there were " Kutoo" and "Singhara" atta puris with the traditional " Arvi" ," Kaddu " Subzis, all cooked in "Sendha Namak" to be enjoyed while observig the Janmashtmi fast. Compare it with the rigours of fasting prescribed by other religions.
Lord Krishana's birth was invariably a noisy affair at mid-night, with a lot of fanfare, blowing of Conch ( "Shankh") shells and sounding of bells. A curtain was drawn to hide the actual birth of Baby Krishna. He came out of a "Kheera"( cucumber), bathed and clothed before, being placed in the traditional " Jhoola" ( swing). Why a Kheera, our young minds would ask, but we were never allowed to go beyond that . And we didn't care anyway, because the treat of " Charnamrit" or " Panchamrit"( made of milk, curds, honey, Ghee, Chiraunjis and Tulsi leaves ) Prasad "served in earthen " Kulhars""Kasaar" sweet roasted Atta which we kids called " Phoophoo" because if you said "that" while eating it , the powder would be strewn all over people next to you, awaited us!

Interestingly, " Janmashtmi" is the only festival celebrated in a big way in the Police Lines all over UP. The reason for this is simple. It is perhaps the only festival which does not require massive police deplyment for " Bandobast" or law and order duties. Well, I do hope that it remains that way, now that political fundamentalism and religious terrorism is taking a heavy toll of our day to day peaceful lives!

I am carrying a picture of " Laddu Gopal' decked out in his refineries adorning the Puja at home with this blog for all of you to have his Darshan. Shailey and I have kept up the long family tradition of observing Janmashtmi, while many of our peers are tending to give it up." OK . You find it tiresome to go through with all the hassles of cooking " Phalhari" meals, then why not order an egg less Cake with Kuttoo Atta flour from" Angels in the Kitchen" in Defence Colony with Baby Krishna and Happy Birthday icing to top it, in your choice of flavour- Vanilla, Chocolate or Pineapple", I suggested to a friend, who mentioned that his wife was prepared to go through with the Janmashtami shopping and cooking part, but since the kids don't relish the stuff any longer, they had decided to let it pass!

Last year on " Janmashtmi day, we decided to go out to a pure vegetarian restaurant to have " Phalhari Thali" lunch, but were greatly disappointed that it was not being served!

I had promised more on " Bhaggo Mausi" in my last blog. So here it is.She was an extemely warm, intelligent, affectionate and charming aunt- my mother's 7th sibling among 8. She could laugh, smile and cry within a matter of an hour! Rather emotional and sentimental but became a very strict disciplinarian after her marrige to Dr Vikram Singh, a self made Mona ( Jat) Sikh.She started an all Women's college in Ghaziabad, with only 10 students, which now has thousands on its rolls. She was a Phd. in English Literature from Patna Univ.and applied for a Commonwealth Scholorship for further studies in the UK, in the mid fifties. Dr. Vikram Singh,a "Leftist" from an agricultural and industrial background in the Punjab had somehow strayed into Govt service and was serving as a Deputy Secreaty to the GOI in the Education Minstry.He was on the Board to interview the applicants. A lonely handsome man, he was on the look out for a well bread and read life mate.I am Carrying a picture of Vikram mausaji with this blog.

Now this is how the interview went :-

DR VS, " Why do you want this scholorship?'

Dr Bhagya Gurha " Well I want to see England, where all this literature I have been studying comes from".

Dr VS " Hmm, what would you have to say if I show you England and many more foreign lands, minus the the scholorship?"

Dr BS, " What do you mean?"

Mausaji, " I will explain, if you meet me over coffee after the interview".

" OK " said Mausi without batting an eyelid in those days of innocence. She also did not complain to the Women's Commission or an NGO of being sexually propositioned by a Public Servant!

They met, not once but a few times, after which he proposed to her.Like a good daughter from respectable family,she gave him the postal address of Nanaji, Dr. Sidh Gopal Gurha, Civil Surgeon ( Retd)," Sidh Sadan", Mcnair Road, Prem Nagar Bareilly.This was the huge almost 30 room mansion Nanaji had built for himself to live in, but soon moved in to the Annexe, when the then Civil Surgeon approached him to give the house to accommodate the Nurses of the District Hospital, who did not have a place to live in. Nanaji's grandchildren,and my cousins, Girdhar and Manohar managed to get the house vacated after 50 long years of legal battle. I am carrying a picture of the house as it stood when I took Shailey there in 1997.

Mausaji wrote to Dr Gurha giving his brief background and asking for his fourth daughter's hand in marriage. Nanaji replied saying that he did not mind, if his daughter wanted to marry him. But he could not perform the marriage from Bareilly given Mausaji's unorthodox background ( a Sikh marrying a second time). Bhaggo Mausi then approached her dear elder sister, "Shillaji" ( my Mom), who asked my father whether the marriage could be solemnized from our house in Meerut and Pitajee said " Yes".
So we recieved Mausaji and the small Baraat of Punjabis for a very simple wedding followed by a very tearful " Bidaai", after which we didn't know whether to feel happy or sad. I was about 1o years old then in 1955.But Bhaggo Mausi led a very happy married life giving birth to her two daughters, Cuckoo and Tottoo. They first lived in a DII flat in Pandara Road and later moved to DI/75 Satya Marg, Chanakyapuri from where he retired, before moving to their own huge house in Ghaziabad- post retirement.This is the house where Bhaggo Mausi lived looked after by a loyal maid and her family who lived in the out houses, reciting Keat's poetry and reding Shakespear, till she breathed her last at the age of 89.Mausaji had passed away some years back. We had gone and spent some time with her in this house a month ago when she took ill. Her face had lit up on seeing us and she had hugged me fondly, smiling with tears in her eyes.

Well, that I feel is enough for this blog. Do let me see a few comments on it.
Love and all the best

Dadaji is No More- Bhaggo Mausi Also Gone

Vijay, my wife's brother informed us on Monday, August 4 that he was taking Dadaji to the Mission hospital in Mysore to consult with the cardiologist taking care of him since his last heart attack in 2000. He was complaining of breathing difficulty for the past couple of days. Dadaji, my wife's father had been living with his son and family in a farm house on the outskirts of Mysore city after migrating there from Kanpur ( UP) the past few years. Despite two severe MIs in 1984 and one in 2000, he was leading a fairly active life, largely within the farm house. A comfortable,but lonely life- mainly because Ammaji, Shailey's mother passed away 15 years ago, and he had to relocate to a faraway place,due to extra-ordinary circumstances, beyond his control.

On Tuesday, Vijay called again to say that Dadaji had been admitted in the CCU and his condition was deteriorating rapidly. Shailey and I reached Mysore the same night after catching the evening flt to Bangalore and driving for 4 hrs. The senior cardiologist attending on him at the hospital saw only 50- 50 chances of his recovery. His age ( he had completed 86 years on June 23) was the factor holding them back from trying more aggressive procedures to revive his heart, which was functioning with only 25 % efficiency.

When we went in to see him, he was fully conscious, but very restless and apparently unhappy at being strapped up with the rice tube, ventillator and the drip etc. When Shailey called out to him after touching him, he looked at her, and looked away- expressing his disgust at what was happening to him! I don't think he saw me.After spending a few agonizing minutes with him the nurse asked us to leave ,and we did.

We came back home and had lunch. I kept thinking that Dadaji should perhaps go, but could not express it to the family. Shailey had been telling me that Dadaji was an exceptionally bad patient himself and hated any kind of illnesses in the family.He believed in good health and wellness.

It was 3 PM - Wednesday, August 6, 2008 when Vijay called from the hospital to say that Dadaji was no more!

We rushed back to the hospital to help Vijay take decisions on the last rites etc. The SIB officials came to the spot and helped. This is where the IB scores- always there in times of need in any part of the country! According to Vijay, Dadaji had asked him to take the "Arya Samaj" route,in preferece to the "Sanatan Dharma" the sect to which he belonged in the matter of his last rites. So it was Electric Crematorium - "Visarjan" of ashes at the " Sangam" at neighbouring Shrirangapatna, followed by a Shanti Havan ( Home) at home on the fourth day.

Part of the ashes were brought back by us the next day accompanied by Gaurav, Vijay's elder son for being carried to Kanpur for immersion in the Ganges.Gaurav had a very close emotional bonding with his grandfather.

Let's take a quick look at Dadaji's backround- Born into a family of lawyers and Zamindars in Banda, a small town in the arid Bundelkhand region of UP, bordering MP. His mother died when Dadaji was merely a Baby. He was brought up by his eldest Bhabhi and brother who had no issues of their own, and also later formally adopted him. His upbringing was marked by love and plenty, in both emotional and material terms. He went to Alld- Kayasth Pathshala the Mecca of all well- to- do Kayasth sons for higher education from where where he did his Intermediate, and moved to the Sir Ganga Nath Jha hostel of Alld. University for the Bachelors in Arts and Law Degrees. He often recalled with pride and pleasure the lavish lifestyle he led as a student in Alld. spending pots of money on good eating and clothes.

He returned to Banda to set up law practice under his foster father( eldest brother), who was a failrly successful lawyer in the District courts. It was then that a proposal was recieved for him to marry Kum Shailbala the only daughter of Dr. Sampurnanand hailing from Varanasi. Sampurnanadji was a well known figure as a freedom fighter and who was sucked into poltical activity and became an important Minister in the UP Govt. headed by Pt. Govind Vallabh Pant. Both families being educated and enlightened, he was allowed the privilege of seeing the girl's photograph. Dadaji went one step further and surruptitiously saw Ammaji stepping out of the Mahila College in Lucknow. His close buddy and fellow lawyer from Banda, Shri Jagdish Rajan,( later married to my eldest sister) had accompanied him on this important mission. The wedding took place at Lucknow and the Nigams returned with the bride to Banda.

When Ammaji's brother was sent to Banda to get the bride back to her " Maaika" soon after the wedding, which was customery, he took the family elders at home to task for having married his loving sister into the most backward and underdeveloped part of the country- sans electricity, sans water supply, sanitation or transport facilities .But Ammaji did not complain then or later in her life for having been married to Dadaji- possibly because the lack of civic amenities in Banda were more than made up by her husband's love and care! Ammaji was a very gifted and dignified lady with several virtues of head and heart. She was more composed, less demonstrative, and an extremely able home maker.She also kept Dadaji on track. Shailey has no doubt inherited some of her mother's qualities

After a few years of marriage, Shailbala gave birth to Shailja ( my wife)in her father's home in Lucknow. The Baby girl, brought much joy and cheer to the Nigam household. Ammaji would recall with mirth her dreary Banda days - the bumpy Tonga rides over Kutcha roads to attend social events like births and weddings in Purdah , ofcourse, and the rare evenings out to watch a movie in the only " Talkies' in town, where she was served mouth watering Lhassi & Samosas from the neighbouring " Boda Halwai" shop, when the screening of the film was interrupted with the generator running out of diesel, or the projector becoming overheated after showing heavy romantic movies starring Ashok Kumar and Nalini Jayawant for more than thirty minutes at a stretch, with Dadaji perhaps holding the hand of her bride in the darkness of the hall,and the lights would be suddenly switched on, without warnings!

Ammaji put her foot down when their daughter's " Deeksharambh( schooling) was to be launched. " We must move to a place where she gets decent schooling" she told Dadaji. He chose Kanpur, U.P's biggest city and industrial hub, located midway between his wif'e's home ( Lucknow) and his own Banda. They set up home in a house on rent in the posh Civil Lines area close to the courts where he set up law practice. He soon became a Govt Advocate on the criminal side and rose to become the District Govt Counse, a position he held for many years till his retirement. The Nigams were also blessed by a second child, a son they named Vijay , and continued to live happily in the " Doodh Wala Bangla" ( a strange name for a home, I thought) for over two decades -driving up and down in Dadaji's many ramshackled cars ( with frequent break-downs,)to visit Ammaji's home in Lucknow and Banda on weekends and holidays. These visits were great fun especially for the kids.

They were living in the same house,when Shailey and I got married in 1975. The house was full of birds and dogs- thanks to Vijay's love for them which he carries to this day.My visits to my Sasural were marked by lot of " Khatirdari" and good eating/sleeping, which Ammaji took special care of.

The happy days of the Nigam household were rocked badly for ten long years from 1984 to 1994, with serious health problems suddenly afflicting the family- first the 2 MIs in quick succession suffered by Dadaji in 1984, and then Ammaji's prolonged incurable illness from a hepatitis B viral infection she had contacted more than 15 years ago during post surgery blood transfusions. The family naturally came under severe emotional, physical and financial stress. Full marks to Ammaji and young Vijay for having battled both illnesses with fierce tenacity and grit. First in getting Dadaji back on his feet, after being bed ridden for over one year, and then ensuring the best possible quality of life to Ammaji during her 8 long years of illness. Shailey and I have the satisfaction of having helped in her treatment by the best doctors in the country at possibly the finest hospital in the country- the AIIMS.

After Ammaji's demise on January 30 ( Martyrs day) 1994, just a fortnight after her cherished desire of having a postage stamp released in memory of her father was fulfilled largely by our efforts, Dadaji , Vijay and family vacated the "Doodh Wala Bangla" and moved to their own farm house in Magarwara on Lucknow- Kanpur road about 12 Kms out of the city, across the river Ganges. Perhaps taking a cue from his love for nature,Dadji had bought a strech of of about 8 acres of agriculture land for his son. But the hassle of commute for Vijay's three school going children forced them to move back to the city in a rented house for about one year before they moved bag and baggage moved to Mysore, where Vijay took up a job.

My account of Dadaji's life would be incomplete without recalling some of his " Shaukeen" / quixotic ways.- Perhaps on being taunted about his various " Khachra" cars, and riding in the " Limos" of his Chief Minister ( and later Governor of Rajasthan) father-in-law, Dadaji ordered his nephew pursuing an engineering degree in the US ( financed by him) to bring back the longest car being sold there. So the white Ford Custom 500 was shipped out to him. And Dadaji proudly drove his family around on Kanpur, Banda and Lucknow roads for many many years, till Vijay explained to him why they could not afford the White Elephant any longer , and Dadaji grudgingly allwed Vijay to exchage it with a smaller car - a Fiat with a local Nawab of Unnao, who like Dadadi was smitten by big cars!

That more or less completes Dadaji's life story which its ups and downs like most. He was a good , honest and simple man, who was proudly independent and self -reliant till the end. My friends and family remember him as a jovial, spirited grand old man dressed mostly in Kurta - Pyjama or Shervani and Achkan on formal occasions, with his distinctive shock of shining silver hair.

Life treated him failrly well, except for two serious set backs- the loss of his life partner and friend ( Ammaji) at the young age of 61, and his own illness which took the zing out of his life, also at an early age. But he managed well till the end.Despite his frequent outbursts and refusal to see any other view point than his own, I immensely enjoyed his company and shall miss him. May God rest his soul in peace.

I am carrying two B/W pictures of Dadaji which Shailey fished out of the family albums which I hope you will like.He is holding Abhiram our elder son in one, and the other is with his Old Buddy and my late Jeejaji, Shri Jagdish Rajan

Bhaggo Mausi ( Dr. Bhagya Vikram) my mother's only surviving sibling who lived all by herself in Ghaziabad, with her two daughters living in Calcutta and Jallandhur passed away on August 12. She was nearing 90 and had been ailing for some time. She was also an unforgettably charming personality. A Phd. in English literature- her first love, and married a Mona Sikh ( Vikram Singh Mausaji), her third Love. I shall write of my memories of Bhaggo Mausi in my next blog, since this one has already become rather long. But I am carrying two photos of her younger days to give you an idea of her earthy charm!The picture of her next to the cactus was taken in 1956.

Love to all.

Pictorial Walk Down Memory Lane

The Past in Pictures-
Returning to my blog after almost two weeks. Ankur our younger son reminded me about it.

So here I am in a new format. Have been rummaging through a whole lot of old photos which Shailey has very meticulously preserved.The blotches on the 10 BW photos have become more prominent after scanning. But they bring back some very happy memories from my childhood and younger days which I have tried to recapitulate below:-

Top Photo
Goa 1976- Tanuja and her husband Somu Mukerje who was shooting a film there visited our homeYes that's Kajol in Shailey's lap.Friends and neighbours Narendra and Sudha, and Rita another good friend, are also seen in the picture with us.Shailey tells me little Kajol had wet our sofa in the Drawing room when Tanuja had spent the day at our home .





Second Row Left -That's Shailey as a Baby. She later came in to my life as my wife, and turned it upside down- from a Bindaas Happy go lucky ' most eligible bachelor in town' -to a home loving bird ,looking forward to returning to the nest after a hard days' work. But the change didn't happen overnight. As a matter of fact, I didn't realize when it did. And she let me be a Bindaas for quite a few years- giving me lots of space, smiling and watching from a distance.



I met Shailey for the first time in 1969 when she alongwith her parents visited our home in Alld ; then again in early 1970 while I was on home leave to attend Anand Bhai's Engagement. Her Dad was a good friend of my eldest brother- in- law.They drove in on their way back from Varanasi to Kanpur in the longest car I had ever seen- a Custom Ford 500! I remember her as a rather serious skinny young girl. A proposal quickly surfaced - " Nice girl- Nice known family" etc etc. But I was in no mood to loose my freedom and " Masti". So I said " Car now and the girl in easy instalments" . It was laughed off.

But they did come back 5 years later, to Goa where I was posted as SP for a " well planned holiday" . My parents were already with me and they arrived with my eldest sister and brother in law. I was cornered again. I said "I need more time." But my brother-in-law would have none of it. "We have given you enough time, Anil. And now you have to give us a firm Yes or No " he roared, which brought out a feeble "yes" from me. And then they acted fast - Dinner at home in the evening, after which I was allowed to take her out for a drive- to Donna Paula- where else. And the ring ceremony followed the next evening. The die was cast!









Right - In Goa in 1974 with a young photographer ( I think his name was Paul) with whom I made friends on a train journey from Bombay to Goa. I was still a bachelor.







Third Row- Pitajee with Bro. C P Burke Principal of our school St Marry's Academy. Shri Shanti Prasad IP, a close friend of Pitajee who was DIG Meerut Range is also seen in the background. Shri Prasad was a towering personality who later headed the UP Police. He largely inspired me to opt for the police as my career.







Fourth Row - with Anand Bhai and Roy Fanthome, our close friend and neighbour in Meerut. The year could be 1958 or 9.







Fourth Row Right-With Maa, Anand Bhai and younger sister Anurag ( Baby) much later in Meerut. Perhaps in 1964 when I was studying in College in Delhi and Anand Bhai was training to become a Commercial Pilot with Chacha in Alld.







Fifth Row -At home in Meerut with Babba, Bhabbi( Grandparents) , Anand Bhai and Baby- In the late fifties, I think.







Sixth from Top- Our friends in School, sons of the Sub Area Commander ( Brig R S Sodhi) had brought Army horses to our house in Meerut Cantt, when Aand Bhai and I first tried our hand at riding, a traditional family sport, which I cherish till today. Earnest Fanthome, Roy's elder brother is safely holding the stallion by his reins, while I am proudly on its back.







Seventh from Top- Taken around Dussehra time in the fifties in Meerut when Anand Bhai and I were allowed to fire from the family weapons. I am proudly holding the .32 bore Revolver ready to shoot! Does it matter that I am barefeet? The weapon was presented to my Grandfather by "HE The Commander - In- Chief of the British Forces in India for Services rendered during the Great War and after" -1919, when he was Tehsildar of Hathras, I think in Aligarh district ( UP). Did that make us "Todi Bachhas" ? I don't think so.It's a family heirloom which I have inherited from my father. I am truly proud of it. Manufactured by Johnson & Johnson Cycle Factory in Michigan USA. It has a gold plate on its butt commemorating its presentation to my Grandfather. I tried to find out about the factory which produced the weapon during my posting in the US much later and was told that it had closed down many years ago!

Babba my grandfather was known as a " Shandaar Tehsildar" an honest, strict and no nonsese type of administror. He is said to have performed his tours riding miles and miles on horseback when the horses were changed every 10 / 12 miles, but he would continue to gallop or canter (the least tiring for the rider), till he reached his destination, to camp in tents put up in forest areas close to the village, for a bit of " Shikar ", after the inspection was over. In a future blog I shall try to carry a picture of one such camp where my father and his brothers were also taken on the " Daura".


Finally the last picture - It wastaken in a studio in the school blazer in 1960, when I was filling out my forms for the NDA and "Dufferin" exams. Don't miss the crew cut- coz Elvis had got one in the Movie " G I Blues" and coz I was pretty fed up of my unruly hair which simply didn't stop falling on my forehead, despite liberal treatments with Brylcream, Vaseline Pomade etc.



The Present- In Delhi -




Delhi continues to be hot and sultry with little rain in the past week. But the heat and dust has hopefully settled, also after all the the political drama witnessed on July 22.In an obvious salute to the PM , Radio Mirchi 98.3 FM kept playing the number " Singh is King" from the yet to be released Akshay Kumar starrer movie by the same, after the UPA Govt won the vote of Confidence in the Lok Sabha. Young Omar Abdullah, son of Farukh Abdullah, the J & K NC leader's straight from his heart speech in Parliament clearly scored over all others.


Last Sunday, we went for a Mango Party in an orchard owned by Khan Sahib, owner of Rajdhani Nursery in Jorbagh. His orchard which also has a farm house and serves as the back up nursery and Green House for the Rajdhani Nursery in located on Garh Mukteshwar -Meerut road ;a good 2 1/2 hrs drive from Delhi. We had lots of fun feasting on the delicious varieties of mangos- Langdas, Dussehris, Chausas and the lesser known Ratauls and Gulab Jamuns grown only in western UP but very weet and tasty. The mangos were served in the tradional style, soaked in buckets filled with water and ice, and eaten jointly under the shades of trees also laden with mangos. There was a large tank fed by a tube well for the kids to frolic in. This was followed by a sumptuous meal of Pooris , Kachaudis , variety of Subzis and Biryani, Korma all made by gourmet chefs at the Farm House.There were no less than 200 guests who enjoyed Khan Sahib's hospitality!
I attended such a party which used to be an annual affair during our childhood after many, many years. And Khan Sahib's Khatirdari was impecable. He looked after every guest personally, extending the usual courtesies ( disappearing fast) only a Muslim from UP can- in proper Lakhnavi and Rampuri Andaaz, assisted by his sons and other family members. Small baskets of mangos were also placed in the cars of the VIP guests as they left the farm house. " Will your sons be able to continue with this tradition of hosting the annual mango party after you are gone," I asked Khan Sahib before leaving."I am sure" was his prompt answer. But I am not so sure...

That's all for now. All the best till I blog again.

Love from your "Desi Maali".