Janmashtmi

Today is Janmashtmi - the birth day of Lord Krishna one of the most popular incarnations of God Vishnu, particularly in the North, Bengal and Orissa. Krishna's following has grown world-wide, thanks to ISCON. Unlike other Gods in the Hindu pantheon, Krishna's folklore is marked by romance,youthful pranks, music and dancing. Krishna's discourse to Arjun on the Mahabharat battle field is immortalised in the "Shrimad Bhagwat Gita"- the most powerful treatise on Hindu Dharma and philosophy.

Here are titbits of my childhood memories of Janmashtami- the pains we took over decorating the "Jhankis" depicting scenes of Lord Krishna's birth, with lots of foliage and flowers. The effect of reflecting water pools was created by using mirrors. Then there were the "Katri" sweets- basically dry fruits set in sugar, as exotic and varied as "Kharbooza"( Melon) seeds and natural gum ( "Gond"), "Post"( poppy seeds). The "Chiraunji" and Gola( dry coconut)Katris were my favourite. Every one kept " Vrat" ( fast), which meant you could eat to your hearts content but without " Anna" ( cereal) and salt.As as many sweets, as much milk or its products, fruits, vegetables . Therefore there were " Kutoo" and "Singhara" atta puris with the traditional " Arvi" ," Kaddu " Subzis, all cooked in "Sendha Namak" to be enjoyed while observig the Janmashtmi fast. Compare it with the rigours of fasting prescribed by other religions.
Lord Krishana's birth was invariably a noisy affair at mid-night, with a lot of fanfare, blowing of Conch ( "Shankh") shells and sounding of bells. A curtain was drawn to hide the actual birth of Baby Krishna. He came out of a "Kheera"( cucumber), bathed and clothed before, being placed in the traditional " Jhoola" ( swing). Why a Kheera, our young minds would ask, but we were never allowed to go beyond that . And we didn't care anyway, because the treat of " Charnamrit" or " Panchamrit"( made of milk, curds, honey, Ghee, Chiraunjis and Tulsi leaves ) Prasad "served in earthen " Kulhars""Kasaar" sweet roasted Atta which we kids called " Phoophoo" because if you said "that" while eating it , the powder would be strewn all over people next to you, awaited us!

Interestingly, " Janmashtmi" is the only festival celebrated in a big way in the Police Lines all over UP. The reason for this is simple. It is perhaps the only festival which does not require massive police deplyment for " Bandobast" or law and order duties. Well, I do hope that it remains that way, now that political fundamentalism and religious terrorism is taking a heavy toll of our day to day peaceful lives!

I am carrying a picture of " Laddu Gopal' decked out in his refineries adorning the Puja at home with this blog for all of you to have his Darshan. Shailey and I have kept up the long family tradition of observing Janmashtmi, while many of our peers are tending to give it up." OK . You find it tiresome to go through with all the hassles of cooking " Phalhari" meals, then why not order an egg less Cake with Kuttoo Atta flour from" Angels in the Kitchen" in Defence Colony with Baby Krishna and Happy Birthday icing to top it, in your choice of flavour- Vanilla, Chocolate or Pineapple", I suggested to a friend, who mentioned that his wife was prepared to go through with the Janmashtami shopping and cooking part, but since the kids don't relish the stuff any longer, they had decided to let it pass!

Last year on " Janmashtmi day, we decided to go out to a pure vegetarian restaurant to have " Phalhari Thali" lunch, but were greatly disappointed that it was not being served!

I had promised more on " Bhaggo Mausi" in my last blog. So here it is.She was an extemely warm, intelligent, affectionate and charming aunt- my mother's 7th sibling among 8. She could laugh, smile and cry within a matter of an hour! Rather emotional and sentimental but became a very strict disciplinarian after her marrige to Dr Vikram Singh, a self made Mona ( Jat) Sikh.She started an all Women's college in Ghaziabad, with only 10 students, which now has thousands on its rolls. She was a Phd. in English Literature from Patna Univ.and applied for a Commonwealth Scholorship for further studies in the UK, in the mid fifties. Dr. Vikram Singh,a "Leftist" from an agricultural and industrial background in the Punjab had somehow strayed into Govt service and was serving as a Deputy Secreaty to the GOI in the Education Minstry.He was on the Board to interview the applicants. A lonely handsome man, he was on the look out for a well bread and read life mate.I am Carrying a picture of Vikram mausaji with this blog.

Now this is how the interview went :-

DR VS, " Why do you want this scholorship?'

Dr Bhagya Gurha " Well I want to see England, where all this literature I have been studying comes from".

Dr VS " Hmm, what would you have to say if I show you England and many more foreign lands, minus the the scholorship?"

Dr BS, " What do you mean?"

Mausaji, " I will explain, if you meet me over coffee after the interview".

" OK " said Mausi without batting an eyelid in those days of innocence. She also did not complain to the Women's Commission or an NGO of being sexually propositioned by a Public Servant!

They met, not once but a few times, after which he proposed to her.Like a good daughter from respectable family,she gave him the postal address of Nanaji, Dr. Sidh Gopal Gurha, Civil Surgeon ( Retd)," Sidh Sadan", Mcnair Road, Prem Nagar Bareilly.This was the huge almost 30 room mansion Nanaji had built for himself to live in, but soon moved in to the Annexe, when the then Civil Surgeon approached him to give the house to accommodate the Nurses of the District Hospital, who did not have a place to live in. Nanaji's grandchildren,and my cousins, Girdhar and Manohar managed to get the house vacated after 50 long years of legal battle. I am carrying a picture of the house as it stood when I took Shailey there in 1997.

Mausaji wrote to Dr Gurha giving his brief background and asking for his fourth daughter's hand in marriage. Nanaji replied saying that he did not mind, if his daughter wanted to marry him. But he could not perform the marriage from Bareilly given Mausaji's unorthodox background ( a Sikh marrying a second time). Bhaggo Mausi then approached her dear elder sister, "Shillaji" ( my Mom), who asked my father whether the marriage could be solemnized from our house in Meerut and Pitajee said " Yes".
So we recieved Mausaji and the small Baraat of Punjabis for a very simple wedding followed by a very tearful " Bidaai", after which we didn't know whether to feel happy or sad. I was about 1o years old then in 1955.But Bhaggo Mausi led a very happy married life giving birth to her two daughters, Cuckoo and Tottoo. They first lived in a DII flat in Pandara Road and later moved to DI/75 Satya Marg, Chanakyapuri from where he retired, before moving to their own huge house in Ghaziabad- post retirement.This is the house where Bhaggo Mausi lived looked after by a loyal maid and her family who lived in the out houses, reciting Keat's poetry and reding Shakespear, till she breathed her last at the age of 89.Mausaji had passed away some years back. We had gone and spent some time with her in this house a month ago when she took ill. Her face had lit up on seeing us and she had hugged me fondly, smiling with tears in her eyes.

Well, that I feel is enough for this blog. Do let me see a few comments on it.
Love and all the best

Dadaji is No More- Bhaggo Mausi Also Gone

Vijay, my wife's brother informed us on Monday, August 4 that he was taking Dadaji to the Mission hospital in Mysore to consult with the cardiologist taking care of him since his last heart attack in 2000. He was complaining of breathing difficulty for the past couple of days. Dadaji, my wife's father had been living with his son and family in a farm house on the outskirts of Mysore city after migrating there from Kanpur ( UP) the past few years. Despite two severe MIs in 1984 and one in 2000, he was leading a fairly active life, largely within the farm house. A comfortable,but lonely life- mainly because Ammaji, Shailey's mother passed away 15 years ago, and he had to relocate to a faraway place,due to extra-ordinary circumstances, beyond his control.

On Tuesday, Vijay called again to say that Dadaji had been admitted in the CCU and his condition was deteriorating rapidly. Shailey and I reached Mysore the same night after catching the evening flt to Bangalore and driving for 4 hrs. The senior cardiologist attending on him at the hospital saw only 50- 50 chances of his recovery. His age ( he had completed 86 years on June 23) was the factor holding them back from trying more aggressive procedures to revive his heart, which was functioning with only 25 % efficiency.

When we went in to see him, he was fully conscious, but very restless and apparently unhappy at being strapped up with the rice tube, ventillator and the drip etc. When Shailey called out to him after touching him, he looked at her, and looked away- expressing his disgust at what was happening to him! I don't think he saw me.After spending a few agonizing minutes with him the nurse asked us to leave ,and we did.

We came back home and had lunch. I kept thinking that Dadaji should perhaps go, but could not express it to the family. Shailey had been telling me that Dadaji was an exceptionally bad patient himself and hated any kind of illnesses in the family.He believed in good health and wellness.

It was 3 PM - Wednesday, August 6, 2008 when Vijay called from the hospital to say that Dadaji was no more!

We rushed back to the hospital to help Vijay take decisions on the last rites etc. The SIB officials came to the spot and helped. This is where the IB scores- always there in times of need in any part of the country! According to Vijay, Dadaji had asked him to take the "Arya Samaj" route,in preferece to the "Sanatan Dharma" the sect to which he belonged in the matter of his last rites. So it was Electric Crematorium - "Visarjan" of ashes at the " Sangam" at neighbouring Shrirangapatna, followed by a Shanti Havan ( Home) at home on the fourth day.

Part of the ashes were brought back by us the next day accompanied by Gaurav, Vijay's elder son for being carried to Kanpur for immersion in the Ganges.Gaurav had a very close emotional bonding with his grandfather.

Let's take a quick look at Dadaji's backround- Born into a family of lawyers and Zamindars in Banda, a small town in the arid Bundelkhand region of UP, bordering MP. His mother died when Dadaji was merely a Baby. He was brought up by his eldest Bhabhi and brother who had no issues of their own, and also later formally adopted him. His upbringing was marked by love and plenty, in both emotional and material terms. He went to Alld- Kayasth Pathshala the Mecca of all well- to- do Kayasth sons for higher education from where where he did his Intermediate, and moved to the Sir Ganga Nath Jha hostel of Alld. University for the Bachelors in Arts and Law Degrees. He often recalled with pride and pleasure the lavish lifestyle he led as a student in Alld. spending pots of money on good eating and clothes.

He returned to Banda to set up law practice under his foster father( eldest brother), who was a failrly successful lawyer in the District courts. It was then that a proposal was recieved for him to marry Kum Shailbala the only daughter of Dr. Sampurnanand hailing from Varanasi. Sampurnanadji was a well known figure as a freedom fighter and who was sucked into poltical activity and became an important Minister in the UP Govt. headed by Pt. Govind Vallabh Pant. Both families being educated and enlightened, he was allowed the privilege of seeing the girl's photograph. Dadaji went one step further and surruptitiously saw Ammaji stepping out of the Mahila College in Lucknow. His close buddy and fellow lawyer from Banda, Shri Jagdish Rajan,( later married to my eldest sister) had accompanied him on this important mission. The wedding took place at Lucknow and the Nigams returned with the bride to Banda.

When Ammaji's brother was sent to Banda to get the bride back to her " Maaika" soon after the wedding, which was customery, he took the family elders at home to task for having married his loving sister into the most backward and underdeveloped part of the country- sans electricity, sans water supply, sanitation or transport facilities .But Ammaji did not complain then or later in her life for having been married to Dadaji- possibly because the lack of civic amenities in Banda were more than made up by her husband's love and care! Ammaji was a very gifted and dignified lady with several virtues of head and heart. She was more composed, less demonstrative, and an extremely able home maker.She also kept Dadaji on track. Shailey has no doubt inherited some of her mother's qualities

After a few years of marriage, Shailbala gave birth to Shailja ( my wife)in her father's home in Lucknow. The Baby girl, brought much joy and cheer to the Nigam household. Ammaji would recall with mirth her dreary Banda days - the bumpy Tonga rides over Kutcha roads to attend social events like births and weddings in Purdah , ofcourse, and the rare evenings out to watch a movie in the only " Talkies' in town, where she was served mouth watering Lhassi & Samosas from the neighbouring " Boda Halwai" shop, when the screening of the film was interrupted with the generator running out of diesel, or the projector becoming overheated after showing heavy romantic movies starring Ashok Kumar and Nalini Jayawant for more than thirty minutes at a stretch, with Dadaji perhaps holding the hand of her bride in the darkness of the hall,and the lights would be suddenly switched on, without warnings!

Ammaji put her foot down when their daughter's " Deeksharambh( schooling) was to be launched. " We must move to a place where she gets decent schooling" she told Dadaji. He chose Kanpur, U.P's biggest city and industrial hub, located midway between his wif'e's home ( Lucknow) and his own Banda. They set up home in a house on rent in the posh Civil Lines area close to the courts where he set up law practice. He soon became a Govt Advocate on the criminal side and rose to become the District Govt Counse, a position he held for many years till his retirement. The Nigams were also blessed by a second child, a son they named Vijay , and continued to live happily in the " Doodh Wala Bangla" ( a strange name for a home, I thought) for over two decades -driving up and down in Dadaji's many ramshackled cars ( with frequent break-downs,)to visit Ammaji's home in Lucknow and Banda on weekends and holidays. These visits were great fun especially for the kids.

They were living in the same house,when Shailey and I got married in 1975. The house was full of birds and dogs- thanks to Vijay's love for them which he carries to this day.My visits to my Sasural were marked by lot of " Khatirdari" and good eating/sleeping, which Ammaji took special care of.

The happy days of the Nigam household were rocked badly for ten long years from 1984 to 1994, with serious health problems suddenly afflicting the family- first the 2 MIs in quick succession suffered by Dadaji in 1984, and then Ammaji's prolonged incurable illness from a hepatitis B viral infection she had contacted more than 15 years ago during post surgery blood transfusions. The family naturally came under severe emotional, physical and financial stress. Full marks to Ammaji and young Vijay for having battled both illnesses with fierce tenacity and grit. First in getting Dadaji back on his feet, after being bed ridden for over one year, and then ensuring the best possible quality of life to Ammaji during her 8 long years of illness. Shailey and I have the satisfaction of having helped in her treatment by the best doctors in the country at possibly the finest hospital in the country- the AIIMS.

After Ammaji's demise on January 30 ( Martyrs day) 1994, just a fortnight after her cherished desire of having a postage stamp released in memory of her father was fulfilled largely by our efforts, Dadaji , Vijay and family vacated the "Doodh Wala Bangla" and moved to their own farm house in Magarwara on Lucknow- Kanpur road about 12 Kms out of the city, across the river Ganges. Perhaps taking a cue from his love for nature,Dadji had bought a strech of of about 8 acres of agriculture land for his son. But the hassle of commute for Vijay's three school going children forced them to move back to the city in a rented house for about one year before they moved bag and baggage moved to Mysore, where Vijay took up a job.

My account of Dadaji's life would be incomplete without recalling some of his " Shaukeen" / quixotic ways.- Perhaps on being taunted about his various " Khachra" cars, and riding in the " Limos" of his Chief Minister ( and later Governor of Rajasthan) father-in-law, Dadaji ordered his nephew pursuing an engineering degree in the US ( financed by him) to bring back the longest car being sold there. So the white Ford Custom 500 was shipped out to him. And Dadaji proudly drove his family around on Kanpur, Banda and Lucknow roads for many many years, till Vijay explained to him why they could not afford the White Elephant any longer , and Dadaji grudgingly allwed Vijay to exchage it with a smaller car - a Fiat with a local Nawab of Unnao, who like Dadadi was smitten by big cars!

That more or less completes Dadaji's life story which its ups and downs like most. He was a good , honest and simple man, who was proudly independent and self -reliant till the end. My friends and family remember him as a jovial, spirited grand old man dressed mostly in Kurta - Pyjama or Shervani and Achkan on formal occasions, with his distinctive shock of shining silver hair.

Life treated him failrly well, except for two serious set backs- the loss of his life partner and friend ( Ammaji) at the young age of 61, and his own illness which took the zing out of his life, also at an early age. But he managed well till the end.Despite his frequent outbursts and refusal to see any other view point than his own, I immensely enjoyed his company and shall miss him. May God rest his soul in peace.

I am carrying two B/W pictures of Dadaji which Shailey fished out of the family albums which I hope you will like.He is holding Abhiram our elder son in one, and the other is with his Old Buddy and my late Jeejaji, Shri Jagdish Rajan

Bhaggo Mausi ( Dr. Bhagya Vikram) my mother's only surviving sibling who lived all by herself in Ghaziabad, with her two daughters living in Calcutta and Jallandhur passed away on August 12. She was nearing 90 and had been ailing for some time. She was also an unforgettably charming personality. A Phd. in English literature- her first love, and married a Mona Sikh ( Vikram Singh Mausaji), her third Love. I shall write of my memories of Bhaggo Mausi in my next blog, since this one has already become rather long. But I am carrying two photos of her younger days to give you an idea of her earthy charm!The picture of her next to the cactus was taken in 1956.

Love to all.