Sunny Jeejaji - A Tribute

Sunny Jeejaji,husband for fifty two years of my fourth sister Latajji passed away in the ICU of Vedanta Hospital, Gurgaon on April 4 2012.Jeejaji had turned 80 two months back.He grappled admirably with a dreaded liver infection for the past 10 years or more- with Homeopathy,which he loved,and a strict dietary regime.One could see and feel his strength ebbing away,day after day in the past two/three years.All his kids, particularly his elder son Anshu and his wife Nidhi with whom Latajjji and Jeejaji lived in Gurgaon,did not spare any effort- material or emotional- to sustain the quality of his life,right till the last day.He was indeed a fortunate father to have received so much care and affection from all his children.

A gentleman to the core,mild mannered,intelligent,and a very affectionate member of our family,who we all turned to -for advice and medical help in times of need/illness. Although his practice as a Homeopath- post retirement from Govt. never really took off,I doubt if there is another,to match the depth of his knowledge of "Materia Medica". He was extremely thorough, and somewhat cautious,while prescribing his medicines.Both traits fitted well into his personality.

Latajji,who was younger to Jeejaji by eight years,was easily the prettiest among my five good looking sisters. Looking back(sans cosmetics and facials),she was actually quite a Beauty. A happy- go- lucky, 19 year old doing her BA( Final) in a Women's College in Meerut,where we all lived in a Cottage in the Cantonment.

"Justice" Banarsi Das Kankan who belonged to the UP Judicial Service had embarked on a long journey in search of a " Hoor Ki Pari"(a girl with heavenly good looks)for Kailash Chandra affectionately called " Sunny", his only son!He came to our home via Justice Radha Krishan Chowdhry( my Tau),a highly revered and senior member of our family to "see" Minooji(who unfortunately was away in Alld.),the next in line of Ch. Pratap Bahadur's (my father)to be married daughters.In the absence of her two older sisters (Mohinijji senior to Latajji by one year was also not at home),Latajji was asked to serve tea to the honoured guests.The Kankan father and son,not surprisingly, were both swept off their feet.I missed this "big action" at home, since I too was holidaying somewhere with my cousins.

Despite pleadings by both Tau and Pitajee (my father) that Lata had two other unmarried sisters senior to her,and was too young to get married," Justice" Banarsi Das was adamant...The "Chowdhry Khandaan War Council" comprising Babba,(grandfather),Tau, Chacha and Pitajee(father) met and decided that it would be imprudent for Pitajee (a middle level honest Civil Servant),to decline Kankan Sahib's kind offer to accept Latajji as his son's bride,without any "demands"!The protests of youngsters in the family, like me (I was 15 years old then I think)and young Latajji's tears,were brushed aside!

My first meetings with Sunny Jeejaji were on the weekends when he along with Seth Sahib and Sinha Sahib,his service batchmates and buddies,all rode into Meerut from Pataudi House, New Delhi on their shining "Vespas" to get to know his fiance better.After parking his Vespa at our home,he took Latajji out for Ice-creams at Kwality's on a Cycle- Rikshaw !Another sister had,of course, to chaperone the young and innocent Latajji. How could a Chowdhry girl be allowed to be taken out by a'Delhi Boy'.His pedigree and the formal engagement,which had in the meanwhile taken place,notwithstanding!

All of us including Latajji got reconciled to this quirk of her fate rather quickly.The wedding which took place on February 19,1960 at our home- 22/A-1 Ordnance Row, Meerut Cantt.was indeed a happy occasion.All of us including Anand Bhai(my older brother) and I helped in the reparations for the " Big Event".Amit and Bunty(Amitabh and Ajitabh),alongwith "Teji Aunty" and "Bachhan Uncle" had also chipped in,I recall! Much later,Jeejaji also treated Amit for a burn injury and the near fatal injury he suufered during the shooting of "Coolie" with Homeopathic medicines. Amit graciously acknowledged this,when they met recently, after many years at a family reunion in Mumbai.I have added a photo of Amit and Jeejaji taken at this family do.

Latajji looked really nice with fresh flowers jewellery to compliment her bridal attire.The few scanned copies of Latajji's B&W wedding photos,added to my Blog brilliantly bring out the expressions on a traditional Hindu bride's face. These classics were taken by Mr S. Roy of "Pe-Arts",the leading photo artist of Meerut at that time.There is also a picture of Latajji and Jeejaji with their happy brood who happened in quick succession,soon after their marriage.

Some days after the wedding, Latajji was brought back from her Sasural in Lucknow, or was it Bareilly, by one of our Mamas,I think. On her return to Meerut,we listened with shock to stories of how the young and petite Latajji was made to wear a long "Ghoonghat",while observing the strict "Purdah" rules in the conservative Kankan"Pili Kothi",and "Bhoor Mohalla" the Kankan ancestral homes in Chowk, Lucknow and Bareilly city. But both Babuji and Mataji doted on their son,and later also showered lots of love on their Bahu Rani.Sunny Jeejaji also cared a lot for both his parents and took good care of them till they lived their long,full and contented lives.

There are several anectodes about Babuji's eccentricities as a judge,but more of that later in another Blog perhaps.Here I shall only recall that he was quite a jovial person,who spoke in either chaste Urdu or Shakesperean English and loudly recited Tennyson and Milton poetry,as he lay in his bed before going to sleep. And Mataji used to recite "Urdu Shairi", some of which was composed by her!

But days spent by Latajji only with Sunny Jeejai in their small one bed-room Hutment in Pataudi House on Canning Lane, New Delhi were much happier. After packing the "Dibba" for Jeejaji who set off for North Block on his Vespa, Latajji, occasionally wentout shopping with the wives of neighbours in "Queens Way" (now called Jan Path),a mere walking distance. When Jeejaji returned from work,pretty fagged out after grappling with piles of files in office,late in the evening,"will you please give me something to eat Lata",he would say.Latajji served him "Hot Tea, Mathis or Pakodas,and Dinner,in quick succession.Then the "Lucknow Boy's" craving for ice cream and Paan took the better of the "Delhi Babu's" insatiable hunger for files.The"newly-weds" then went for their 'after dinner walks' to Jan Path/India Gate (depending on Jeejaji's energy level on a particular day).Their week-end visits to"Bengali Market" for 'Chaat' and movies in CP were the other high points in the lives of the young Kankan couple,I recall.

When Latjji came home to Meerut for the first time,from Delhi,she brought gifts for all of us.I proudly showed off my black and white checked T Shirt to all my friends in school for many, many days!

Delhi,being only a short distance away from Meerut,Anand Bhai and I began visiting Latajji and Sunny Jeejaji on weekends and holidays.Jeejaji always went out of his way to make our stay enjoyable and Latajji's finger-licking food and snacks were an added attraction.Jeejaji and I got along famously because we studied in similar schools- he in St. Francis, Lko. and I in St. Mary's Academy,Meerut..We both sudied at the elite AN Jha Hostel of the Univ of Alld.We also used the same slangs while conversing.Jeejaji's vocabulary of was very impressive and he introduced me to the joys of "Modern English Usage' by Fowler.

After finishing school in Meerut,I landed up in a Delhi Univ.College Hostel for my Bachelors degree.The hostel Mess food did terrible things to my delicate tummy and worse things to my discerning pallet.The craving for home cooking was so intense that I made a bee line for Pat House on weekends with a couple of similarly starved hostel friends.We would land up,often unannounced, around lunch time at 75/1 Pataudi House by taking a DTC Bus from Maurice Nagar.Latajji being overjoyed to see her sibling used to make hot Chapati after Chapati for us till the Atta was over!The then tiny Sangeeta,(now Shalini)and Shishu,(now Ashish) served us on the table,one hot Chapati after another with mouth -watering "Haldi Wala Patley Shorbe ka" Mutton curry and Daal with Baigan or Aloo ka Bharta!Pat House was filled with laughter of tiny- tots and aroma of home food, a far better option for us than the expensive and rather stuffy restaurants in CP:)

About Sunny Jeejaji's academic brilliance I came to know much later (from Latajji).He was too modest to tell.He had stood First Class First,throughout his school,college and university,except once,when he fell ill before his Final Exam, perhaps in Class 9. He was a topper in MSc.(Physics) from the University of Alld. and lived in the famous A N Jha( Muir)hostel. He also did his LLB.Alld. Univ and Muir Hostel were the toast of higher education in UP then.

That he did not make it to the IAS is another story- too touchy for me to hsve broached with him.But I was told that by dint of his academic brilliance he did make it to the 'Interview" stage,where he did not score well because of his cautious approach His colleagues who did make,said that it was a loss to the service.I have also heard first hand from officers he worked with that he was easily the best CSS Officer they had come across.

Although serious by temperament,Jeejaji had a great sense of humour. His michievous and innocent smile was heart warming indeed.In the early seventies like other friends,I took a young Mizo girl friend studying in LSR College to Pat House for a treat at lunch time.It was a winter afternoon and we were seated in the small front lawn on a Charpoy.Lunch was ready and we were waiting for Jeejaji to come home.A Standard Herald car had by then replaced his Vespa scooter.Looking to have some fun,I asked my young Mizo friend to greet Jeejaji with a kiss... and she did! On being thus greeted by a Jeans and Tea Shirt clad young lass,Jeejaji's facial expression and reaction was memorable. " Arey, arey arey..." he said greatly amused, embarrassed and blushing!I am carrying a picture taken that afternoon.

But he was a serious embarrassment for those accompanying him to watch Hindi Movies because he used to get so carried away by the melodrama that he began loudly commenting on the sequence of events....."Ab woh isey marega...ab yeh mar jayegi...ab woh Salaa villain aa jayega...ab woh ghar chhod ke chala jayaga..." etc, etc.Latajji's admonitions- "Please... Chup Rahiye.Saath wale log sab hamaari taraf dekh rahe hain.. ." were totally ignored by Jeejaji.

When Latajji wouldn't stop putting on weight after Sangeeta was born- he began calling her"Fatso".He would often tell me over the phone,- "Your fat and lazy sister is lying on the bed watching Telly and refuses to go out for a walk with me!"

His concern for ensuring marital bliss for all boys and girls of marriageable age in the family and close friends was genuine. He was forever match- making,much to Latajji's annoyance.

I enjoyed a close and warm bond with Sunny Jeejaji till his last days. All of us, including he himself were aware that his days were numbered but the manner in which he fought with Hepatitis C infection contacted by him during a blood transfusion many years ago by was truly admirable.The several leading Gastro-Enteroligists and Haemotoligists of Delhi and Bangalore who treated him,were also amazed. Towards the end,however, he felt rather frustrated and disgusted with his repeated bouts of illness. Being a very active and sociable person,he was truly fed up of the restrictions on his diet, frequent stomach upsets,extreme weakness,lack of sleep,and the heavy toll his illness took on his quality of life. But he kept up the fight almost till the and tried to lead as normal a life as he could- he would as a routine sit on his Desk Top Computer to surf the net for material for his research papers on Homeopathy, access his email,walk a bit, and also drove around to the market, bank etc. to attend to his personal chores.

In November first half every Govt Pensioner is required to present himself before the manager of the Bank as proof that he is alive. In 2010, although he was quite weak, we had met at the North Block Branch of SBI where we both maintained our pension accounts and signed the register together. Last November ( 2011)I called to remind him of this obligation. But he said he was not up to it.So I spoke to the Bank Manager about his inabilty to come personally.The manager was kind enough to give me the Form and asked me to get it signed by Jeejaji,which he said he would accept.But Jeejaji chose to go to the Gurgaon Branch of the SBI peronally and did the needful. Such was his equanimity! I made sure it reached the right quarters on time.
Some days later when he was feeling very low,I reminded him that on February 17, 2012 when he turns 80,his pension,shall automatically be enhanced by 20 %. He knew this and added that so would Lata's family pension after he was gone. "Let's see..." he added sceptically. But he did cross the 80 year mark and with a bang!

Jeejaji and I would speak on phone frequently,though we could not meet as much because of the distance between NOIDA and Gurgaon.In the last few months, however, I knew that things were not right with him.... his cell phone began to be answered by Latajji and he would occasionally refuse to come on line by saying he was not feeling upto it.

Although I could not be with him at the series of anniversaries he celebrated in February,beginning with his Birthday on the 17th when I am told he cut the Cake with all his kids and one "Saali" ( my youngest sister); went out for " Chat" which he loved with the family on their 52nd Wedding Anniv. on the 19th; and shared a Chinses meal ordered in at home with Latajji on her Birthday on February 22nd.It should be a matter of immense satisfaction for the entire family, Sangeeta and Vikas, daughter and son in law,Shishu and Madhulika his younger son and his wif who live in Bangalore(but frequently visited him almost every month) that they all spent very happy days together in February and March before Sunny Jeejaji breathed his last after spending only one night in the ICU of the Vedanta hospital in the early hours of April 4,2012.He hated going to a hospital and always insisted on being discharged quickly whenever he had to be admittd to manage his haemoglobin level which kept falling dangerously low from time to time.He had,I believe, made his kids promise that he would not be subjected to life support systems,ever. The considerate person that he was, he avoided leaving this world on April 3, which happens to be Anshu's birthday but waited till the next morning to make his final exit!

You shall be missed dearly by all of us Sunny Jeejaji.But the sterling legacy of love,caring and highest integrity in personal and public life that you have left behind for the entire family shall be cherished for a long long time....The void left by you shall naturally be felt most by latajj for whom I offer prayers to bear the loss with rectitude.

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